


bro... you’re in the meadow too... bro... gtfo bro...

by Cringe_Culture



Series: raccooninnit prompts pog [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (make that a tag), Alcohol, Angry TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Blood and Injury, Drunkenness, Emetophobia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jschlatt Being a Jerk (Video Blogging RPF), Non-Consensual Hugging, Stabbing, light fluff, megamind jschlatt, not really i just think it’s funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28636995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cringe_Culture/pseuds/Cringe_Culture
Summary: “So... you’re like fucking Megamind?”“A little bit, yeah.” Schlatt let out a long breath. “Honestly, though, I think I’m better at it than he was.”—prompt:“tommy leaves pogtopia in the middle of the night to try and clear his head, and after a while he ends up finding schlatt sprawled out on the ground and drunk. (they’re probably in a clearing or something idk, just know that they can see the stars.) they end up having a conversation about the election and everything that’s been happening. schlatt isn’t necessarily nice but he isn’t mean either. it’s very bittersweet, and tommy probably gets angry at some point or another”(except i’m stupid and kinda forgot the prompt so it doesn’t follow everything. but it is tommy and schlatt talking in a clearing)
Relationships: Jschlatt & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: raccooninnit prompts pog [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088249
Comments: 6
Kudos: 167





	bro... you’re in the meadow too... bro... gtfo bro...

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [dsmp tommyinnit cannot catch a fucking break and i’m the reason why](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489422) by [racooninnit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/racooninnit/pseuds/racooninnit). 



> KAY I GOTTA ADMIT I DIDNT REALLY FOLLOW THE PROMPT WITH THIS ONE UH—
> 
> the story just kinda went, i was just along for the ride dude
> 
> i based schlatt’s characterization off of my personal experiences and also... fucking megamind. yeah. uh. i kinda watched megamind last night and my brain went sicko mode with the amount of connections it made while writing this. that being said he’s not perfectly in character but i still think he’s interesting? i guess? or i hope you think he is lol
> 
> the next prompt will probably be written as a longer-form story so be prepared for that if you’re wanting to follow this whole series thing! there are a few that i’ve thought up actual stories for, but some are just things i don’t see plot for. yk? yeah that is all enjoy the fic!
> 
> disclaimers: this in NO WAY reflects the feelings of the content creators or the characters. PLEASE do not send this their way. this is self-indulgent and based off the characters they play in the smp.
> 
> also, i have a hard time with grammar and spelling so please kindly point out mistakes. i don’t beta read
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS
> 
> drunk schlatt, yelling, talking about death, non-consensual hugs/touching, vomit, stabbing, blood, cussing

Tommy was exhausted.

So much shit had gone down lately and it was tiring. Wilbur was confusing. The way he had been talking recently made no sense. Everyone else had been gone for days, maybe even weeks, and he needed to get the fuck out of Pogtopia.

His knees ached and his lungs burned as he made his way through the tunnels. He half-hoped that he’d run into someone who would help him, but, logically, he was pretty sure that everyone except Wilbur and Schlatt were asleep.

Once he got to the open air, his lungs stopped screaming as loudly, and his mind cleared a bit. The little bits of sky he could see through the thick treetops was pitch black. The only light was dimly emanating from torches, likely haphazardly placed by some unlucky soul who found themselves far from home in the middle of the night.

He came to a clearing. Another person is in the middle of the grass, lying on their back, staring up at the blank sky and giggling to themselves. They seem to hear him, and sit up, their suit wrinkled and dirty.

‘He’s drunk,’ he thinks to himself, as Schlatt begins waving at him.

“Hey,” Schlatt said, dragging out the vowels. “Tommy.”

“The fuck are you doing here?” Tommy didn’t come any closer, pulling out his sword on instinct.

Schlatt stood, unsteady on his feet. He laughs at nothing. “Tommy, you can put the sword away. Do I look threatening to you?” His words are long and slurred, like his tongue was too slow for his mind.

Tommy refused to move, tightening his grip on the weapon. “Answer my question, dickhead.”

“I wanted to enjoy the view!” The president gestures widely, nearly knocking himself over in the process. “Fresh air, nature, all that bullshit, y’know?”

Tommy braced himself as Schlatt stumbled closer to him. “Fuck off, don’t lie to me. Why did you come here?”

“Honestly,” Schlatt cackled, now only about fifteen feet from Tommy, “I don’t know where ‘here’ is. I think I got fuckin’ lost.”

Without warning, the older man threw his arms around Tommy, who dropped the sword out of shock.

“What the fuck?! Get off!” Schlatt tightened his hold and pinned Tommy’s arms to his sides. “Stop. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?”

Schlatt’s chest rumbles as he laughs again, not letting go. Tommy felt a bit sick as whatever the fuck the liquid was that had gotten onto Schlatt’s suit seeped into his shirt. His shoulders were tense as he wriggled to get out of the forceful embrace.

“Relax, Tommy. I’m not going to hurt you.” He released Tommy’s arms, but kept a firm grip on Tommy’s shoulders. He swore that his hands were on fire, because it burned where he placed them. “I don’t like you, but you could take me down in, like, two fuckin’ seconds right now, and I don’t wanna risk it, y’know?”

Tommy observed the other man’s face as he let him go. He looked more messy than he had noticed before, the mix of dirt and sweat making sludge on his face. He smelled gross, too, like alcohol, sweat, and vomit.

He collapsed back down onto the floor with a sigh, lying on his back, completely vulnerable. Tommy picked up the sword again.

“How are you and Wilbur doing?”

“How do you think,” Tommy said. “Wilbur’s practically gone insane.”

Schlatt hummed to himself. “It was to be expected, I guess. He never was very strong-willed.”

Tommy’s chest was heating up, a fire being lit at the base of his lungs. “Fuck you.”

“Woah, there,” Schlatt said, with a scoff. “No need to get all aggressive.”

“Wilbur was—is extremely strong-willed. You did that to him. You’re an asshole.”

Another laugh leaves the drunken man, this one smaller and just a little bit sadder. “You think I don’t know that, Tommy?”

Tommy fell silent.

“You insult me like I haven’t already heard it before. It’s funny that you think it’d get through to me.”

“Why do you do things if you know they’re awful, then?” Tommy’s words felt choked, like someone had a foot to his throat. “You have to be some kind of fucked to do shit like that when you know it’s wrong.”

“Ah, well,” Schlatt said, picking at his fingernails. “There comes a certain point where you become self-aware, Tommy. We’ve all done bad shit, but I’ve done it to the point where I don’t think I’m exactly redeemable.”

“So...” Tommy started. “You’re like fucking Megamind?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Schlatt let out a long breath. “Honestly, though, I think I’m better at it than he was.”

“I hate to agree with assholes,” Tommy said.

“At least I’m a self-aware asshole, Tommy.” Schlatt placed his hands on his stomach, closing his eyes. “You’re not perfect, yourself.”

“You can’t compare me to you.”

“Never did.” Schlatt pursed his lips, seemingly content. “You’re a kid, I wouldn’t compare your shit to mine. But, a sin is a sin, I guess.”

Tommy frowned deeply, and adjusted the sword that had been idly lying in his hands. “I could kill you right fucking now.”

“Yeah? Then what’s stopping you?” Schlatt’s eyes opened just a bit. “You have a weapon, I don’t. I’m not even fighting back. I’m, literally and figuratively, showing my belly. What’s fucking stopping you?”

Tommy glared at him in what he hoped was an intimidating way. A grin spread across Schlatt’s face and his eyes slid shut again. 

“This is what makes us different, Tommy,” Schlatt said. “I’m an asshole, I cause problems on purpose. You cause problems when you think it’s funny, or when you think it’s ‘important.’ You won’t kill me now, because there’s no possible upside.”

“I can, and I will, if you don’t shut your mouth.”

Schlatt sat up. “Oh, but you won’t!” He had begun to yell, not getting violent, just getting loud. “What would be the fucking point, Tommy?! Genuinely, tell me, I’d like to hear it. You kill me, then what happens?”

“Then you’re dead.”

“And then what? And then fucking what? I respawn, and you’re in even deeper shit than before.” He turned to face Tommy, his facial expression scarily calm and flat. “You’re not stupid, Tommy. You know I still have two of my canon lives, and who would be there to dictate whether it’s canon or not? It’s just the two of us, here. What is it that you want? Revenge, to prove yourself?”

Tommy felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He knew Schlatt was right. He didn’t know how he knew everything; it felt like Schlatt was in his head, and he hated it. The man he distrusted the most knew everything about him, and he couldn’t fucking handle it.

“Well?”

The sword slipped from his fingers and he dug his fingers into his hair. He would not fucking cry.

“This is a shitty situation,” Schlatt said. “I’m sorry you’re growing up in it.”

“You’re not sorry.” Tommy’s statement had a lot less venom in it than he’d originally intended, and it just sounded sad. Defeated.

“You caught me.” Schlatt shifted where he was lying, his suit making an uncomfortable squelching noise that made Tommy feel like vomiting.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Thank you, I try.” Schlatt waved his hand in Tommy’s direction, then lets it fall to the ground. “Now, bye. I’m trying to get some peace and quiet here.”

Tommy released his hands from his hair, the anger from earlier returning tenfold. He picks up the sword for the second time that night and sends it through Schlatt’s palm.

Schlatt turned his head to his hand, and giggled. Tommy pulled the sword out. Blood was slowly beginning to sludge out of the wound, and Schlatt’s laughter was growing louder.

He turned, and ran, no longer noticing the ache in his lungs. He felt like he was far, far away from himself. He couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore.

Tommy got got to Pogtopia before he noticed that the president’s blood was spread through his hair. He wondered, for a moment, how that happened, before keeling over and expelling what little he had gotten into his stomach that day.

He swore he could still hear Schlatt laughing.


End file.
